About me

Hi, I'm Lynn.

Growing up, I, like many other people, had very few examples of what healthy relationships could look like. As a young adult I had no clue about how to relate healthily. I did not know where my boundaries were. I longed for closeness and safety, but pushed people away as soon as I got it. I struggled.

And I did not want to struggle.

So I set out to do all the “work:” I read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, went into therapy, I even got a counseling psychology degree.

And guess what? Relationships are still hard (and also wonderful).

To be fair, they are way less hard than they used to be. I have learned how to relate healthily. I know where my boundaries are and feel comfortable setting them. I am able to feel secure in relationships. I notice feelings of anxiety and insecurities in my thoughts and body and am able to voice my needs to my partners. All these things proved invaluable when I made the step to consensual non monogamy.

And sometimes I still struggle. I still feel anxious and insecure. I still need help sometimes. Learning to relate healthily is a lifelong journey. It's not always easy or linear. And it's definitely worth it. I am doing this work because I want people to find security within themselves and with their partner(s). I long for people to relate in healthy ways, even if our current society does not give us many great examples.

When I’m not working you can find me in the mountains, a forest, or nose-deep in a book. I dance when nobody is watching and probably single-handedly keep several ginger-farmers in business.

I recognize myself in the following labels: queer, pansexual, white, cis female, nonhierarchical poly, intersectional feminist, abuse survivor.

Education:

• Clinical Foundations in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy part I and II, the Gottman Institute (2022, ongoing)
• Emotionally Focused Mediation I, EFT Nederland (2020)
• Masters of Arts in Counseling Psychology, The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology (2017)
• Motivational Interviewing, Casey Jackson (2017)
• Trauma, Attachment & Neuroscience, Clinical Seminar with Bessel A. van der Kolk M.D. (2016)